The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Friday, November 30, 2012

GETTING READY TO GARDEN

Thinking about next year's garden already? You are not rushing the season, after all the gardening catalogs are beginning to show up in our mailboxes. One which showed up today is from Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, over 200 pages of non-hybrid, un GMO'd gardening goodness.





 
 
 
We "discovered*" Baker Creek last year when we were looking for an alternative to the hideous white turnip and found a perfectly delicious yellow substitute in their pages, with 4 times the amount of seed advertised on the packet contained within.


A BIG FAVORITE AT UNCLE MAC'S


Visit their on line shop at http://rareseeds.com/, you will be able to order a catalog from a link on the front page. Visit the Baker forums, take a peek at their magazine. They even have a highly entertaining and informative Blog!

There is no doubt that this is a full service, enjoyable website.

Arteries clogged from the noisome sludge you've ingested following the recipes at Unnatural Foods? The Vegan Cookbook to your rescue!




Chase away those wintertime doldrums with a hearty dose of garden prep. Baker Creek Seeds are there to help!


*Although to be honest, they didn't appear to be lost.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

WHO'S GOT THE LINKS?

Here at Uncle mac's we are privileged to know many creative and talented people. Artists, crafters, authors, poets, inspired gardeners all with positively magical works and wisdom to share. We are proud to offer these links so that others may explore some small portion of their worlds.

And of course, we've include a few lynx as well, because that is what we do. Enjoy, and when there are shops involved, please visit and take a look around.







Christmas is right around the corner and the Etsy store, Full of Knots, is even closer than that. Check out these colorful fun creations and contact the proprietor, the enigmatic Heather Simon about custom orders, there is still time! Whimsy and skill in equal measure are found in every "Full of Knots creation!"





BRRRR!

Fresh from the metaphorical pen of Raymond Kukkee comes an essay on subjects most of us would rather avoid. Subjects like the pure irritating immobilization that a harsh winter inflicts upon us. Like the additional irritation a sluggish and disinterested Public Works team can add to the mix.




JIM DANDY TO THE RESCUE!


While you are at it check out the rest of the insights at Raymond's popular Incoming BYTES, always thought provoking and entertaining. Bookmark it, perhaps even join!




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A HEEP OF NEAT!
 
Christmas time is coming and we all have to wonder what it is that we intend to stuff all those stockings with. Certainly feet are not appropriate. Well, as it turns out our buddy Alexandra Heep, she of "A Heep of Everything" and "A Heep of NASCAR" blogging fame also has a shop. And this little shop? Does it answer many of your shopping questions? I leave that to you, just go and visit "A Heep of Treasures", take a look around, like and share it, and then purchase a heepin' helpin' of unique coolness!
 
 
Hey we even have a few items for sale here at the Shed! Can you say, "Woot!"? Well that was certainly an admirable attempt, best work on it, though.
 
 
GOTTA HOOK 'EM TO COOK 'EM!
 
First, for the fisherman in your life, "Silver Bullet" spinners, the ne plus ultra of spinning baits. $8.95 for 3, $2.50 shipping. To order simply leave your e-mail address in "comments" with the message: "Send me the spinners!"
 
 
 
 
 
REEL 'EM IN, LADIES!
 
Did we forget the ladies? Not likely, at this blog where they are seldom out of our lecherous thoughts. No way! Stuff that stocking with "Mancatcher Ear Rings" the lobe - dangling corollary to Silver Bullet spinners. A mere $7.95 for the pair, $2.50 postage, simply leave your e-mail address and the message, "I gotta have the ear rings!" in "comments!"
 
Note: you will need to improvise something to attach them to your lobe, or whatever you intend to suspend them from.







Well, time to answer the burning question: "Who's got the Lynx?"

We do, of course.

From the tiniest of Lynx   


WHO'S CUTER THAN ME?

To a fine big fat fellow...


A REALLY BIG CANADIAN LYNX WILL APPROACH 40 LBS!

Lynx have absurdly large paws...


CALL ME "BIGFOOT"




These act as snow shoes and aid them on many a hare-raising hunt!


HARES ARE A CANADIAN LYNX'S FAVORITE DINNER

When they can catch them. Sometimes the bunny puts the slip on the wiliest of Lynx. Like this lucky escape artist.

But generally its, "Bunnies! its whats for dinner!"

Sometimes they chase each other!

Bobcats - which are lynx - sometimes chase their Mommy's tails.

Both bobcats and lynx can and do make amazing pets for the right people, in the right location. Turn your sound up for this.

And that should be more than enough Lynx for one post!


EXCEPT FOR THESE TWO



COOL, NO?

We have another shop for you, courtesy of Marie Anne St. Jean. A yarn spinnin' woman she wants to show you what she's spun lately. You'll want to take a peek at "The Crooked Yarn" where special orders not only don't upset us, they're a way of life!






KABOOMSKI!

Weather has been brutal in the Northeast and winter isn't even here yet. From way across the country, Cheyenne, Wyoming in fact, comes author Clair Schwan with some tips on dealing with difficult weather. You really need to bookmark his potentially life saving blog, "Self reliance Works" it is well worth keeping up with. Want to make poultry keeping a bit easier? Check out the automatic watering system. Ever really want to start a fire with a bow and string and fireboard? Here is where you will learn how.

See what I mean?


We have another shop! We have Lynn Parets own original artwork, securely sequestered in the vaults of her Etsy store. Visit her at "Lynn's Creations" and see what you can uncover!

We have an original Lynn here at the shed, a custom ordered Vida Guerra. We could not be happier!

What great gifts!










GLORY'S SHORT STORIES



We had a yarn spinner earlier but here is a yarn spinner of a different stripe. Meet Glory Lennon, author of the award winning gardening blog "Glory's Garden"  and of the fun serial novel, "Violets in Bloom." You should check both out, and bookmark them!

Glory has also just finished her latest novella, "Where your Treasure Lies" and that is a must read as well. (knowing Glory's restless typing fingers she'll be starting a new one, shortly)

Let us not overlook "An Ever Fixed Mark" which is tough to do anyway, it being ever fixed and all.

But what I REALLY want to direct you to, today, is "Glory's Short Stories". Stop by, enjoy a quick read and leave a friendly comment or two. You'll be glad you did!




And that would seem to be about that for this episode of "Who's got the Links". We had them, and now you've got them too. Enjoy!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

To everyone from the crew here at Uncle Mac's Garden Shed!

One of the many reasons you probably thought you had to be thankful was that you would no longer be hearing about the large rutabaga, Mr. Big. You do not get off that easily. Who better to explain than the still reasonably sober Aunt Agnes.

NOT AS LUBRICATED AS USUAL

Howdy! Ah am jist so gosh dern excited, this here is my first Thanksgiving at the shed! But they asked me to keep it short so here Ah go.



MR BIG AT HOME

Y'all recall Mr. Big? Turned out he wasn't as big as billed, only 4 lb. 5 oz. without his greenery.



A BISECTED MR. BIG

You never know with a big rutabaga but when we cut him up, aside from a tiny cavity all was sweet, firm useful 'baga within.

We borried a recipe from those peculiar but affable folks at Unnatural Foods, and turned him into a pie.


YUM!

And a right good 'un at that!

So we thank Mr. Big for his contribution to the feast, Ah think it is safe to say that we will not be seeing him again*.

On behalf of everybody here, this is Aggy, wishin' the best to you and you'rn on this Thanksgiving Day, 2012.



*Leathertface lobbied hard for another series of pics in 12 to 24 hours after peristalsis had returned a transformed Mr. Big to the limelight, so to speak, but this was almost universally over ruled.  

Monday, November 19, 2012

AND THE WINNER IS...

ALKALINUS!



Yes, Alkalinus not only guessed Mr. Big's weight more closely than anyone else, he or she nailed it, at 4 lbs. 5 oz which is exactly correct!

Congratulations, I expect you'll get a statue for this in your home town.

More important, you also get an Andy Jackson so please send me an e-mail at BobMacNJ5@aol.com or, leave your own e-mail address right here as a comment, and we will promptly scoot you the loot.

Thanks to everyone who took part, to our no doubt happy winner, and to Mr. Big who will next be seen at Thanksgiving dinner!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

THE "GUESS THE WEIGHT OF THIS ROOT" CONTEST, OR, FARM GIRL YANKS MR. BIG!

You people have filthy minds, is all I want to say.

It is the last contest with a cash prize on the line which Uncle Mac's will be offering in 2012, so put your figurin' caps on.


THE LAST KNOWN PIC OF "MR. BIG", IN SITU

A few words about Mr. Big, our prize rutabaga. First, he is a quitter. For weeks he added an inch of circumference every seven days, until he reached a corpulent 21" plus. And then he just gave up. Shame, Mr. Big! Shame!

Second, Mr. Big is a fraud! Almost all of his bulk was above ground. What is up with that, Mr. Big? Perhaps we will call you "Biggy Smalls" henceforth.

But still, it might be interesting to guess his weight (already recorded). Here, such as they are, are the rules.

DA RULES:

Contest begins right now; Sunday November 11, 2012
 
Contest ends midnight Sunday November 18, 2012

 First (and only) prize is: $20.00 US, delivered via Paypal
 
 One guess per player
 
Guess submitted as a comment on this post*
 
Guess to be in pounds and ounces. Whole ounces only. Entries which do not comply will be ignored and deleted.
 
Winner is whoevers' guess is closest to Mr. Bigs actual weight, and we don't care if you go over or not. Closest wins.
 
In the event of a tie, we will be really annoyed.
 
But we will come up with something.
 
***************************
 
Here are a few hints to help you out:
 
 
1. Mr. Bigs greatest circumference is 22 1/4"
 
2. Mr. Big, compared to common everyday items:  
 

MR. BIG WITH COORS DE BEER
 
 
MR. BIG WITH ORDINARY CONCRETE BUILDING BLOCK (17 5/8" X 7 5/8" X 7 5/8")
 
MR. BIG IN CHEAP SUN GLASSES 
 
59 OUNCE BOX O' MINUTE MAID OJ WITH THE IMPOSTOR
 
MR BIG WITH JOE BIDEN'S BRAIN
 
There you have it! All you need to be a winner in the guess the weight of the big rutabaga contest! Lets see those entries!
 
 
 
 
*If you have trouble leaving comments either message me, "MacPike", on face book or e-mail your guess to Bobmacnj5@aol.com and put "Mr. Big" in message bar. I will post your guess.
 
Thanks, and best of luck!  

Thursday, November 8, 2012

THE HALLOWEEN THAT WASN'T

Hi there, Vida G., roving reporter for Uncle mac's garden Shed, in only my second official gig. For some arcane reason that I cannot grasp I've been tasked with covering the Halloween Holiday festivities which did not take place this year. Good old Frankenstorm Sandy sort of put trick or treat out of every one's mind. This is probably some sort of test of my journalistic skills. Pfaughh! This is merely child's play. (But then again these Shed folks are a lot like big children.)



Halloween is always a fun holiday, or at least it was until the church people and the politically correct crowd and the rest of the up-to-no-gooders felt obliged to stick their collective oars in.

Lots of neat decorations went up around the shed...







Uncle Mac carved the traditional welcoming Jack-O-Lantern.

Traditional according to him that is.

(Ditto: "welcoming")







Trick or Treaters are a mixed blessing here. I mean, you'd think parents would know better by now but amazingly enough, they still let their children come around, the rash of disappearances in 1998 notwithstanding. Think about it, little kids out at night in the dark, and Leatherface low on sausage meat. How in the world is that ever going to end well?

For every cloud, a silver lining they say and I understand that this horrific event helped everyone realize that a follow up on Leather's first lobotomy was in order. Today he seems mellow enough to me; a lot like a doorstop actually.



But some rare groups of treat seekers prove to be fine company and have been invited to come back whenever they like. These guys, sans sheets, are around all the time. They enjoy playing silly dog games with the wolves, and digging unwanted holes in the garden when we leave a gate open.*








I wasn't here to observe this sordid spectacle of course but I understand this crowd was also invited to stick around a few Halloweens back, by Mac and the boys (naturally) and were discovered by Farm Girl the following morning, somewhat the worse for wear and draped over various hay bales and farming machines. It took a quick wash and rinse through selected worm holes and a gold bar each to hush that one up. The one in black still stops by; she seems to have a little something for the Ripper.

No accounting for taste.



This crew gets the boiling oil treatment whenever spotted. Nasty bastids, and no respect at all for a well ordered garden.

 
 


 
And then there is this poor sod. He apparently showed up on Halloween looking and acting very much like a building inspector. He was introduced to the compost heap on a permanent basis about 30 seconds into his routine, I'm told. (A shadow of this story rattled around space time for a bit and popped out in slightly distorted form at http://lowcrimesandmisdemeanors.blogspot.com/)
 
 
I remembering asking Farm Girl why the Shed Folk, "eccentric"** as they are, would casually eliminate a public servant such as a building inspector.
 
"Too many of 'em", she said. "Think of them as cabbage loopers."
 
"But what if he was just an innocent in costume?" I asked.
 
"Then he should have known better." was the unexpected reply.***
 

But these are mere shadows of Halloweens past. This year there was no trick or treating, no Halloween parties in the Northeast but everyone had their costumes, for the most part. Let's just see what might have been.



Farm Girl went the magical witch route, a role I think she fills well. The broom borrowed from a timeline where magic really works was a particularly nice touch...








Delacroix's sorceress outfit was equally stunning...












 

Although, being Lacey, she relied on high explosives for her special effects. She torched a few off  despite the storm and power crews throughout the County thought transformers were blowing left and right....

  





I tried buttering up Uncle Mac by complimenting him on his costume.

"Unc", said I, "That is the best rendition of a crotchety, cantankerous, whiskey soaked overly bewhiskered yet lecherous old fart that I have ever seen! Congratulations!"

"Ain't put muh costume on yet." He replied.

(Oops...)







 

Mallory decided to be Bertie Wooster. But he sort of is Bertie Wooster anyway. Besides who knows who Bertie is anymore. Or even who Mallory was**** for that matter. Epic fail, George!







 

 
Jack is scary enough in his old everyday working garb, and knows it...
 
 
 
 

Leatherface decided to be a Gleason Box! That guy rocks! And with a brain the size of a turnip. Go figga!
 
 
 

Through the miracle of modern cosmetics and costume design, Aunt Agnes decided to be, well, not be herself, anyway, and even I have to admit, big improvement!
 
 
 
 

Now the critters: Mrs BobKat considers herself above such foolishness...
 
 
 
 

And Blinky is preoccupied feeding little Blinkies...
 
But the wolves? They're troopers and party animals, and were looking forward to trick or treating. (Where's the beef?) They were so disappointed they wouldn't take their costumes off for days!
 
 
 
Here's Dire
 
 
 
 

And here's Nero, that cut up...
 
 
Ain't they old sweetie pusses, for 400 lbs of slaverin' carnivore that is?
 
"Well what about you, Vida G?", you may be wonderin'.
 
Well this was my first holiday as a full blown Shed inmate, so I wanted to get it right.
 
 

I tried Wonder Woman, but that's dated.
 
 
 

A zombie; but that's played out - they're everywhere! Have you been to Washington, lately?
 
 
 

So then I figured, hey, its a Garden Shed filled with strange and exotic critters. I decided to be one of those...
 
Think it would have worked?
 
Well this is Vida G, reporting live to you on something that never happened, from Uncle Mac's Garden Shed. Trick or treat!*****
 
*Something about being around wormholes too much must alter ones perspective on life. I mean, playing with the wolves? kids as sausages? I can't imagine not running away screaming even a month ago!
 
**"Eccentric." I guess one could say Vlad the Impaler could be a trifle peckish on occasion.
 
***I mean, shouldn't things like this make me even slightly nervous?
 
****Is? Was? This space-time shiftin' stuff takes getting used to. I guess Mallory, like Jack and Farm Girl, both are, and at some other point in time also were so to speak. Delacroix and Leatherface, however, are, but never were, if you catch my drift. Mac is, and has been for quite a while I'm the only normal one here. I expect Agnes might be also, timewise, but it's difficult to put "normal" and "Agnes" in the same sentence. Well I hope I've cleared that all up for you! (Geeze what's Millies story?)
 
*****You might be wondering what happened to Millie Quackenbush. Normally she never misses a shed function but no one has seen her for weeks heck, I've never seen her, so we wonder with you. Might be a story there...
 
 
 
 


"AHEM!"
 
"Ack! You startled me! Post is over anyway, who the hell are you?"
 
"Um. Trick or treat?"
 
"Trick or treat? You're a raccoon, what in the name of Davey Crockett's hat do you want?!!"
 
"Er. Ixnay on the athay, please. Got any sweet corn?"
 
"SWEET CORN!" No we do NOT have any sweet corn! We didn't get any sweet corn! And do you know why we didn't get any sweet corn???"
 
"Early frost?"
 
"NO! We have no sweet corn because all of our tender young ears wound up in fat little raccoon bellies, much like the one you are sporting, even as we speak!"
 
"Just to be clear, no corn?"
 
"NO!"
 
"No need to shout. Well, that  is certainly a nice warm haystack you have there, where the old lady is sleeping. A raccoon could do worse. I think I'll stay!"
 
"What a great idea! It might interest you to know, however, that no one fed the wolves today."
 
"I think I'll leave."
 
"Good call."
 
Look at the fat little waddler! Stuffed with our corn from pointy nose to ring tail. I've never fired a firearm in my life and even I'd like to rock salt his ass!
 
Anyway, now we are really, really done. Thanks for stopping, I'm Vida G.